Kill J

Ilustration by: Sad Eyes

Interview by: João Miguel Fernandes

kill j music denmark

Occupation: Musician and journalist

Click here to read the interview in Portuguese

1 – Who influenced you most in your life?

For most women it would probably be their mother, right? And that’s the same for me. It’s definitely my mother, who has had the biggest impact on the person that I am today. All my things, all my issues, I blame them completely on my mother, so yeah, definitely her. You get to a point in your life when you realize you spent so much time trying not to become your mother, but I’m exactly like her. She’s an artist too and I watched her struggle as an artist and saw what it entailed and I told myself “It won’t be like that for me, right?” (laughs), and it’s exactly the same. But she has definitely impacted my life and my music also. I realize that, maybe only a couple years ago, the reason why I’m doing music and the reason I created an alter ego is because she is my mother, I’ve been very affected by my mother’s anger. She is a very domineering and angry person, she is also, of course, extremely lovely, emotional, she takes a lot of space and I think subconsciously in never really felt there was room for my emotions or my issues. I guess what happened was that I channeled all that into the Kill J project, where I’m, allowed to speak my mind, I’m allowed to be angry, I’m allowed to be political, all that stuff. Apart from the fact that she’s an artist, she’s a very emotional, strong wild and domineering person, and I think slowly but surely I’m becoming her (laughs), and I hate it and love it at the same time, you know what I mean?

2 – I totally understand, the more we try to be different from people, the more similar we become.

Exactly! Every person has their struggles going through life and moments that will form them and their personalities, they will go through trauma or whatever, but it’s interesting to see how that has also a trickle-down effect. I feel that myself and my sister, I have sister, we grew up together, and we are the second generation dealing with my mother’s issues, meaning she had a really hard upbringing and came from a family with a lot of issues with alcohol and violence. Thank god we didn’t had to deal with any of those issues, but we sort of had that trickle-down effect, having to deal with her issues in a different way and somethings it takes generations to move past.

3 – Which childhood memory comes to your mind? Or that it was important to you.

I know my first memory, but I’m not sure it’s that interesting. My first memory is walking into a house and there’s a bunch of rooms and I realized that I was two or three years old and we were moving into this house, so I guess it was the first time we saw my childhood home.

“I definitely think we have less free will than what we think we do. I feel free, I feel like I have lots of choices and I really have those choices, but whatever choice I end up making is not out of the blue as one would think, right?”

4 – Do you think we can still have free will or is society and governments defining us as people?

That’s not a yes or no answer, there’s so many equally answers that are true to that question. Of course we have free will, but there are limits, right? There are laws and we are definitely form by a society, by our peers, by expectations. For example, it didn’t happen by chance that I am a musician and journalist, I had the opportunity to choose, but so much stuff has happened in my family, in the environment I grow up with, expectations that people have had to me that it didn’t just happened, we are formed by what other people expect from us and by what we see around us, on social media, what we think is important is very much shaped by outer forces.

I definitely think we have less free will than what we think we do. I feel free, I feel like I have lots of choices and I really have those choices, but whatever choice I end up making is not out of the blue as one would think, right?

5 – Carl Sagan spoke several times about the possibility of existing aliens somewhere in the universe. Do you also believe in this? If so, how do you think they will look like?

(Laughs), I think that of course we are not alone, there’s too much “space” and there are too many possibilities for there not to be any entities whatever we might call life, because how can we really define that? But, if we define life as we know it, biological life in that sense, of course we are not alone. Whether or not we might be talking about microbes that might look like microbes on earth or whatever form it is, I don’t fucking know, I’m an amateur. Depending on if you look at different theories around, multiverse theories, theories within science in general, there are worlds that look exactly like ours, there’s the possibility of an Earth just like ours, where you and I are talking over coffee instead of Skype. I don’t think it’s a question of believing whether or not there’s life or alternate universes.

6 – If you could travel to another universe, how would it be that place? What would you like to find there?

Oh, like a perfect world? Holy shit, you can roll out a wishlist of stuff, right? A world where there weren’t child dictators, where everybody would be happy and healthy and all that stuff, right? It would be fun to go to a universe where there were more senses than the ones we have, wouldn’t that be cool? Wouldn’t it be cool to go to a universe where there wasn’t just gravity and magnetism, but something called like “the green force”, that controlled something, right? Like a force that you could use and harness in a one that you could travel faster or like communicate via telepathy, stuff like that.

“Science is going to be the only thing that’s going to save us from climate change, devastations of climate change. It will be the thing that’s going to help us in the political spectrum to solve wars that are happening because of water shortages, or because of religion or borders”

7 – Which are for you the biggest consequences of the digital evolution and the dangers of being online all the time. Which challenges might we have in our society because of that?

Oh, that’s such a huge question. There’s a lot of cool stuff that’s happening, right? 20 years ago the world was a lot larger and now all of a sudden we can all communicate with each other and I can just call you on Skype, I don’t have to dial any weird Swedish number or travel to you, so that’s of course awesome. It has a wonderful unifying on us, meaning that all of a sudden, we all have a better chance of understanding each other, because we have common denominators, because we see each other a lot more. The stranger, the foreigner might not be as scary or foreigner as we think he or she is, that’s awesome! I think we just need to get over this whole clash of the civilization thing. It might take some years, but it’s going to happen, we are going to get used to each other, we are going to get used to people looking different and sounding different and having another religion and all that stuff that’s kind of scary for a lot of people right now. This is going to sound bad, but that generation is already dying off and the new generations are used to all this shit, we are used to seeing the other and seeing them as a friend a lot more than the older generations. I think it’s a matter of tackling our own fears and getting used to this world becoming smaller and smaller.


8 – If you had a chance to make a soundtrack for a movie which one would it be?

That is like a wet dream of mine, something that I want to happen and it’s going to happen. I’ve made a bit of music for documentaries, but I want to do film music so fucking bad. If I ever get to do that, I can check it from my bucket list and die happy.

The ultimate soundtrack would probably be for Blade Runner 3, but I need to nerd some sounds a bit more to be able to deliver that gig, right? Holy shit. I really like the Blade Runner 2049 and the first one if one of my favorite films ever. They did something different with the new one, but still remained true to the overall concept.

9 – You said once that “in the end, only science will save us”, in which way? Will the robots defend stop us from fighting each other? Will technology eliminate pollution?

Studies show that humans are getting with every generation more and more stupid, however, with every generation we are developing new technology that is getting smarter and smarter, so we utilize that to evolve as a species and we use that to solve our problems. Science is going to be the only thing that’s going to save us from climate change, devastations of climate change. It will be the thing that’s going to help us in the political spectrum to solve wars that are happening because of water shortages, or because of religion or borders. At the end of the day it won’t be politics or bombs solving those conflicts, it will be people using technology to solve the bottom line issues. Show scientists some fucking respect because they are going to save your lives.

10 – With your background in literature and journalism, have you ever considered writing a book?

You did good research, that’s awesome! Most people I talk to don’t even know my first name, so this is really nice, thank you for that. This was probably the coolest interview I’ve ever done!

Going to your question, yes, many times. My whole background in all the different degrees that I have (laughs) is centred around storytelling, but at the end of the day I think you shouldn’t consider writing anything unless you have something interesting to say. Whatever I have to say at the moment, only makes sense in shorter formats, it wouldn’t make sense to write a book about something and I would never write a book about myself. When people write books about their lives, I always think that’s so funny, why is my life so interesting that I think you have to read anything about me? I don’t know, it’s just a weird thing.

I have lots of ideas and I always have stories in my head, I always write short stories, I’m writing all the time. If I ever write something that I feel it’s interesting enough for other people to read I would love to publish that, but it needs to be interesting enough.


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